Ears in my pain

I discovered that my ability to really ‘hear’ in the midst of my pain was a determinant factor in whether my pain would break me or serve as a spring board to greater things. And what I heard gave rise to faith in my situation and instilled confidence in me that things were not over, although in the natural it was over (laid two babies to rest in a space of ten months).

 

So how did I hear and what did I hear?

 

How I heard

I have often heard the statement that when a product breaks/things go wrong you should either consult the manual and/or the manufacturer. So in my case due to my Christian beliefs, I consulted my manual, the bible and my maker (God Almighty).  

  • Personally when God speaks to me, he does so through every day analogies that flash across my mind as thoughts
  • The bible is a living testament that is applicable to every life situation, as I read it, I heard him speak through various scriptures about what had happened and what was to happen

What I heard

In a nutshell God assured me through his word that he loves me, will never leave nor forsake me and I will end up with babies that would live and not die. As a result of what I heard God say to me regarding my situation, I developed faith to be ‘a mum again.’

 

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Rom 10: 17).

 

My resulting faith in God demonstrated that I had absolute confidence, trust, assurance and conviction that I would have healthy, full term babies and easy childbirth experiences going forward. Let me point out here that even though God gave me his word that I would have more children, challenges still showed up.

For instance when I was 33 weeks pregnant with my third baby, I was in hospital for my regular antenatal check. My baby was monitored for over an hour and I was soon to be taken off when suddenly his heart rate dropped drastically (extreme bradycardia) and a few times the machine did not record any readings. All I could say was Jesus and screamed for the midwife. Immediately she saw the CTG trace she called for other colleagues and they started preparing me for Theatre, in the midst of the commotion, I remembered to call my consultant who dashed in and asked them to recheck his heart beat.  And gradually it picked up. I believe within those few minutes his heart rate dropped something happened but God saved my son. He was born exactly at 37 weeks full term with no complications and labour happened just like that, in 22 minutes.

 Each time I got a negative report about either of my subsequent babies, I meditated on the particular scriptures God referred me to and the ones that related to my circumstance in the bible and enforced it in my situation. 

The fact that God spoke into my situation did not mean I should sit back and accept my fate when the arrows came flying in my direction again. I had to call forth the word to do what it has been assigned to do.

Regardless of your situation (whatever it is) spend time seeking God’s face to know his mind regarding what you are currently facing and once you hear, run with it.

God’s word is living, alive, powerful, active, and effective. It surely works!

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Bad things also happen to good people

As a Christian I was totally unprepared when ‘death’ came knocking. I never imagined in my lifetime I would ever bury my own children. I remember someone telling my husband, we did not deserve what happened to us as we were such a lovely couple (Committed Christians). I have come to the conclusion no one deserves to lose a child whether they are ‘good’ or ‘bad.’

Despite my frail state a few weeks after Isaac’s birth, I decided to take time out to pray and fast. I had to know what was going on and get answers to the many questions swirling in my head. Although I did not get all the answers I was seeking, the understanding I acquired set me free (to an extent, more about that later).

 

Some Insights gained

  • Even Christians experience pain and in some cases it has nothing to do with sin
  • My reaction to ‘bad’ things reveals my maturity
  • My commitment to God and love for Him should not dwindle even when things don’t seem to make sense
  • This world is not my home
  • All things would work together for my good in the end
  • Despite losing my son, overwhelming victory is mine through Christ who loves me
  • Not accomplishing my assignment on earth by the time I am called home is worse than death

 

From my teenage years, I had always being afraid of ‘death’. My maternal grandmother died when my mum was 13. For some reason, I always had this fear that my mum too would die when I was around that age. Well, she did not. Thank God. But that dread of death remained. But after losing Faith, the hold of death was broken. I found out it was nothing to be afraid of and God has the power of life and death. I could then boldly say to the enemy ‘try me.’

I knew without a doubt, I would have and celebrate with living children. However I made a conscious decision that nothing would separate me from God’s love – neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears of today nor my worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell (Romans 8: 38).

So, are you going to follow Him irrespective of the ‘bad’ things that happen in your life?