I can tell by Steven L. Channing

I can tell by that look friend, that we need to talk.
So come take my hand and let’s go for a walk.

See I’m not like the others -I won’t shy away.
Because I want to hear what you’ve got to say.

Your child has died and you need to be heard.
But they don’t want to hear a single word.

They say your child’s with God ,so be strong.
They say all the “right” things that somehow seem wrong.

I’ll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I’ll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.

I won’t criticize you or judge you or scorn.
I’ll just stay and listen ’til night turns to morn.

Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long.
And I know that you think that you’re not quite that strong.

So just take my hand ’cause I’ve got time to spare.
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.

See, I owe a debt you can help me repay.
For not so long ago, I was helped the same way.

And I stumbled and fell through a world so unreal.
So believe when I say that I know how you feel.

I don’t look for praise or financial gain.
And I’m sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.

I’m just a strong shoulder who’ll be here ’til the end.
I’ll be your Compassionate Friend !!!

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Lean on me

 I have come to the realisation that no matter how ‘strong’ a person is, there comes a time or season in every one’s life when we all need someone to lean on. And it is okay to be vulnerable and to ask for and receive whatever support is required.

Personally I found the texts, phone calls, cards and prayers from friends, colleagues, my biological and spiritual family very encouraging. More so the visits and embrace from certain key figures (mentors) made a world of difference by bringing hope, peace and comfort.

Just as I have benefited from the care and love offered by those mentioned above, it is imperative that I am available for others to lean on in their ‘trying’ time. I am always perplexed at how we as humans indirectly withdraw our support to the bereaved and can carry on with business as usual a few weeks/months after their loss. This may be due to not knowing what to say/do and the belief that the bereaved needs to get over it and continue with their lives.

Sometimes it is difficult for people who have not walked in these shoes before to understand the full implication of baby loss.  Hence they may be unable to fully comprehend your actions, anger, frustration, disappointment, pain or guilt. However there are many others who can identify and walk with you on this journey.

 You don’t need to walk this road by yourself, there are people you can lean on!