Trying to conceive is indeed a difficult, hard, stressful, fatiguing, tiresome, wearisome, vexing, arduous, annoying, taxing, aggravating and exasperating time. Although my ttc times were not that long, I still experienced all of the scenarios listed above. My situation was also compounded by the fact that I also had two losses and had to try again. Here are my thoughts on how I handled this time in my life.
1. What is His take on this?
Scriptures are laden with scriptures such as:
Psalm 113: 9 “He gives children to the woman who has none and makes her a happy mother.”
Isaiah 54: 1 “Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth! You’re ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women.” God says so!
Hebrews 11: 11 “By faith, barren Sarah was able to become pregnant, old woman as she was at the time, because she believed the One who made a promise would do what he said. That’s how it happened that from one man’s dead and shrivelled loins there are now people numbering into the millions.
However when things in the natural seemed contrary (after losing Isaac), I had to get on my knees and inquire from God myself what His plans were for me with regards to being a ‘happy’ mother. And because He reassured me through His word and signs, it made my ttc period a bit easier to deal with.
2. The role of prayer
Each time we tried to conceive (more so after our loss) we committed it to prayer. As I realised this was more than just a biological activity. I just poured our heart out andI was real with God. I spoke what I wanted knowing that He hears and responds. There is also a peace that comes after laying our burdens at His feet.
The counsel from medics can also be beneficial. Having said that it was not everything they said we agreed with or took to heart. I found out that different medics had contrasting opinions in terms of when we could try again after our loss. We decided to go ahead when we felt we were ready to try again.
Before attempting to try again, I ensured I was physically well enough to proceed. I think readiness also involves the ability to keep going month after month even when conception ‘eludes’ one. We did not take a break as there was always the thought of what if it was going to happen and we had taken a break. However I think it is okay to take a break if deemed necessary.
5. What’s faith got to do with it?
The one thing that kept me sane was my faith in God (Now faith is being sure we will get what we hope for. It is being sure of what we cannot see, Heb 11:1). This gave me the courage to hold on, keep trying, over look negative prognosis and comments.
6. Mental preparation
I decided to go into Mother Care shortly after I lost Faith to buy any baby item as a sign that I would one day go shopping for my baby and make use of this item for my baby. Each time I felt low I brought out the item to remind me that one day, my baby would have this. I learnt to day dream and night dream of the day I would hold my baby, push him/her in a pram and experience all the wonderful things other mums take pleasure in.
There was this song I sang over and over again and I still love it so much; I praise you, I praise you o Lord, in my life I see what you are doing, one more time, I lift my voice in praise of your name, I lift my voice in praise of your name. It served as a declaration of my hope and trust In God and of a beautiful ending.
I have always loved Sarah’s story in the bible and more so present day testimonies I hear all the time. I believe it does not matter how long one has been trying for, what the past history is, the woman’s age is, the physical, medical or spiritual barriers that exist when He says it is time, it indeed is time.