No words can describe what I felt as I held my third baby who was born alive and full term. That moment was priceless. This is one moment I had looked forward to with great expectation, faith and longing the first and second time. But on both occasions I returned home to an empty cradle. Having experienced both sides twice (2 babies that are no more and 2 that survived) I am very grateful and feel privileged to have both boys in my life.
The journey from losing two babies to having another two more was an interesting one. The main thing that kept me going was hope. Hope that believed, relied and trusted in God. Hope that God would not let me down and I could count on him. Hope that my expectation would be a reality. Hope that there would be light at the end of this ‘dark’ tunnel. Hope that my desire and dream of having my family would materialise. Hope that my story would take a different turn. Because I had hope, I kept going month after month, I persevered when my medical prognosis seemed bleak and I chose to try again after two ‘unsuccessful’ attempts.
In my situation because I lost two babies in a row, hope did not occur automatically. It was a daily battle which I conquered by taking my eyes off what had happened to me and what I was told. Instead I chose to focus on God’s take on my situation and have faith in him so that my hope for ‘living’ babies would actually happen in the near future.
Miracles still occur, as you look ahead don’t give up hope.