Trying for a baby indeed is a time most women (like myself) become ‘afraid.’ I would like to share three areas that gave rise to fear and address them.
Prior to getting married, I had envisaged myself having three kids before I hit thirty. So when I had a delay for over a year, then lost two babies in a row, I was much shaken and quite concerned. Especially when there was no good reason for our babies’ demise.
Looking at the natural
I discovered I had Preeclampsia after delivering ‘Isaac’ (our first son) which developed into high blood pressure. I was told different things by medics. Some said I can never have Preeclampsia again others said there was a greater likelihood of reoccurrence in future pregnancies. In addition, I was told the high blood pressure was here to stay. But that did not deter me from trusting God that all would be well the second time. 23 weeks into my second pregnancy I went into premature labour and delivered our daughter ‘Faith’. Although we were shocked that this labour was premature we were totally confident she would make it. But after a ten hour battle she was gone. All I said to my husband a few hours later was I can’t do this anymore. What was the point of trying for babies only to lose them? At that point I was hesitant to give it another go in the near future.
Although I got married a few years before many of my friends, a number of them had one or two children before me. Just thinking about it increased my anxiety levels and I could not wait to have, hold and keep my own babies.
What I did
- Gave over my desires to God and decided to let Him make all things beautiful in His time
- There was this particular day I was so discouraged about the whole issue. My husband then pointed out to me that my faith level was low. Just like cars need refuelling, likewise our faith needs refilling through meditating on the word of God. So I decided to write down bible verses that relate to conception, safe pregnancy and childbirth and reflect on them on a continuous basis.
- I came to the realisation that although some of my friends had children, some were not even married and I should be thankful despite my situation. At the end of the day I too would get there even though it is later than planned.
Perhaps, maybe other things are giving rise to fear in your situation, you do not have to tolerate fear. Fear brings pain, distress and torment. Rest in God’s love for you and that He would not withhold anything good from you (which include babies).
Don’t give up in this difficult time, build your strength up in God’s word and expect your miracle.